I know people who wake up at 4:30 am with a smile, run 10K with a headlamp on, jump into a cold plunge, and then write a chapter of their next book—before their workday even starts. I am not one of those people.
And if you are, this article probably isn’t for you.
Left to my own devices, I hit snooze. I can rationalize skipping a run, cutting a workout short, going back for seconds, or ending the day with a bowl of ice cream. I really like being comfortable.
And I know I’m not alone.
While writing The Power of Healthy Tension, I asked thousands of professionals a simple question: What comes to mind when you hear the word tension?
Ninety-four percent of the responses were negative. Most people said they work hard to avoid it.
Which tells me something important: like me, most of us are wired for comfort.
And to be clear, comfort isn’t the enemy.
There’s such a thing as healthy comfort. A hot tub after a run. A Sunday afternoon nap. Pizza night with the family. Sneaking out of work early to go fishing on a beautiful day. These moments restore us. They matter. They’re part of a healthy, sustainable life.
The problem isn’t comfort. The problem is unhealthy comfort.
Like most things, when comfort is overdone or misapplied, it quietly turns on us.
Unhealthy comfort is a bad friend, whispering, “You’ve done enough—just turn back now.”
It’s a con artist, promising that tomorrow will be a better time to start. And it’s a thief, stealing growth, momentum, and satisfaction while insisting everything is “fine.”
I’ll be honest, some of the most comfortable seasons of my life were also the most dissatisfying. Comfortable at work. Comfortable relationally. And quietly unhappy. Coasting through my days instead of fully living them.
That’s when I realized I needed to break up with comfort—or at least set firm boundaries on our relationship.
Here’s what’s helped me:
- Targeted Discomfort. Each season, I choose a few specific areas where I intentionally lean into healthy discomfort—at work, personally, and relationally.
- Real, Not Romantic. Stretch goals matter. Fantasy goals don’t.
- Daily Reminders. I keep my commitments top of mind through reflection, prayer, and journaling—because if I don’t revisit it, I forget it.
- Built-in Accountability. Coaches, trusted friends, and simply saying the commitment out loud keeps me on track.
- Grace-filled Progress. Healthy discomfort isn’t about perfection—it’s about direction.
The truth is, the last decade of my life has been the least comfortable—and the most fulfilling. I’ve grown more, contributed more, and felt more alive than ever before.
If your world is starting to feel a little too “fine,” it might be time to renegotiate your relationship with comfort.
Psychologist Dr. Susan David sums it up better than I can: “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”
PS: If you’re serious about breaking up with unhealthy comfort, Atomic Habits by James Clear is one of the most practical guides I’ve found. Small, consistent changes really do compound over time.
One Last Thought:
My keynotes help leaders and teams navigate tension and embrace the kind of healthy discomfort that leads to success and sustainable growth.
If you’re planning an upcoming meeting or conference and want to explore whether that kind of conversation would serve your group, I’d love to connect.
