It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
Earlier this summer, we headed north to my wife Bec’s family cottage to spend time with some amazing cousins visiting from the UK.
The next morning, I got the call: our basement was one of many in Niagara that had flooded.
My heart sank. Within minutes, I went from being in vacation mode with people I love to thinking about everything that could be ruined, and everything that needed to be dealt with immediately.
So, back home I went.
After about 24 hours of cleaning, hauling, drying, and trying to get things under control, I realized how fortunate we were. Many of our neighbours had it much worse.
With the fans and dehumidifiers doing their thing, I headed back north and tried to get myself into summer-fun mode.
And you know what?
We had some wonderful days of sunshine, family, laughter, and fun.
It was a terrible week AND a really good week.
I was frustrated AND grateful.
Discouraged AND happy.
It was a reminder that life rarely fits neatly into Either/Or.
Neither does leadership.
Some of the biggest challenges keeping you up at night aren’t actually problems you can solve. They’re tensions you need to manage.
I hear things like:
“I care about my people. I just don’t always know how to balance that with everything the business expects from me.”
“I know we need to evolve. I just don’t want to lose our culture and what made this place great in the process.”
“I want to set the bar high. I just don’t want my team to think I’m impossible to work for.”
“I want to give my people freedom to run with things. I just don’t want to wake up one day and realize we’re all working in silos.”
“I love what I do. I just don’t want to look back one day and realize I built a successful career while missing the moments that mattered most.”
If any of those sound familiar, here’s what I want you to know:
These competing demands are unavoidable. Rather than trying to escaping them, learning to lead through them will give you a competitive leadership advantage.
Leadership is full of competing demands:
People AND Results.
Change AND Stability.
Expectations AND Grace.
Collaboration AND Independence.
Work AND Home.
These aren’t tensions you finally “solve” and move on from.
As long as you’re leading, they’ll keep showing up.
The goal is to get better at recognizing them, resisting the temptation to choose one side at the expense of the other, and learning to tap into the upside of both.
So, the next time you feel pulled in two directions, don’t automatically assume something has gone wrong.
Get curious.
You may not have a problem to solve.
You may have a tension to manage.
And learning to manage it well might just be one of the most important leadership skills you develop.
If this resonated, there’s more where it came from! My keynotes and workshops help leaders, from Fortune 500 companies to national non-profits, find clarity in complexity, lead through change, and build unified teams.
Planning a fall event and need a keynote that will actually change how your leaders think? Let’s talk.
My forthcoming book Winning Culture: The 5 Tensions to Manage for Excellence and Engagement comes out this fall. You can download the first chapter free right now.
Winning Culture – out November 16th.
timarnold.ca/winning-culture
